Sundowning: When Evenings Get Hard

What is sundowning?

Sundowning is when a person with dementia gets more confused, anxious, restless, or upset in the late afternoon and evening. It can last into the night. It is sometimes called "sundowners."

You might see pacing, asking to "go home" even when they are home, yelling, crying, hiding things, or accusing people. Some people see or hear things that are not there. It is most common in the middle and later stages of dementia.

It is not your fault, and it is not your parent being difficult on purpose. It is the disease.

What causes it?

Doctors don't know the exact cause. These things often play a part:

• Tiredness. By late day, the brain is worn out from working hard to make sense of things.
• Changing light. Fading light and shadows can be confusing or scary.
• A mixed-up body clock. Dementia can disrupt the sleep and wake cycle.
• Too much going on. A busy house at dinnertime, the TV, kids coming home, and shift changes can overload them.
• Unmet needs. Hunger, thirst, pain, needing the bathroom, or being too hot or cold. They may not be able to tell you.
• Illness or medicine. A urinary tract infection or other illness, or a medicine change, can make it much worse.

Practical tips for evenings

1. Keep a steady routine. Wake up, eat, and go to bed at about the same times each day.
2. Get daylight and movement early. A walk or time on the porch in the morning helps set the body clock. In Fresno summers, go early before the heat.
3. Limit naps. A short nap is fine. Long afternoon naps can make nights harder.
4. Turn lights on before dusk. Close the blinds and brighten the room so there are fewer shadows.
5. Plan a quiet afternoon. Save doctor visits, errands, and bathing for the morning. Turn off loud TV news.
6. Cut back on caffeine and sugar later in the day. Ask the doctor about alcohol, too.
7. Offer comfort, not correction. If your dad wants to "go home," don't argue. Try, "Tell me about home," then offer a snack, music he loves, or a simple task like folding towels.
8. Check the basics. Is he hungry, thirsty, in pain, or needing the bathroom?
9. Stay calm yourself. Speak slowly and softly. Your calm helps settle them. Step away for a minute if you need to, as long as they are safe.
10. Keep a simple log. Note the time, what happened before, and what helped. Patterns show up fast.

A sample calm afternoon and evening

Every family is different, but here is one routine that works for many:

• Early afternoon: A short rest, then a snack and a glass of water.
• Mid afternoon: A short walk, folding laundry, or sorting photos. Something simple with their hands.
• Before dusk: Lights on, blinds closed, TV news off. Soft music they know.
• Early dinner: A calm table with few distractions.
• After dinner: A bath or wash-up if it goes well at this hour, pajamas, and the same bedtime steps each night.

Talk to the doctor

If sundowning starts suddenly or gets much worse, call the doctor. It may be an infection, pain, or a medicine side effect that can be treated. Share your log. Do not start or change sleep aids or other medicines without the doctor's advice, since some can make confusion worse.

When sundowning means more care is needed

Many families manage sundowning at home for a long time. But it may be time for more help if:

• Your parent is trying to leave the house in the evening or at night. See our page on dementia wandering.
• Evenings have become unsafe for them or for you.
• You are up most nights and running on empty.
• One caregiver can no longer handle it alone.

A first step can be evening in-home help or respite, so you can rest. Our respite and in-home care page explains your options. Free help is also out there, including respite assistance and support groups. See dementia caregiver support in Fresno.

When it is more than home can handle, memory care can make a real difference. Good memory care homes plan calm, structured evenings, keep lights bright, and have awake staff through the night. Doors are alarmed or secured so a resident who wants to "go home" stays safe. Learn more about memory care in Fresno.

This page is general information, not medical advice. Please talk with your parent's doctor about changes in behavior.

Updated September 2026 by Shaun and Nick, co-founders of CalValley Senior Living Advisors.